Whew! It's Hot!

Anyone else experience fatigue and low sugars (or at least the feeling of being low) when it's oppressively hot outside?

Endo Visit

For the most part, I can pretend I don't have diabetes---even though it's a 24/7 disease. What I mean is, my life with diabetes is normal---low blood sugars, high blood sugars, carb counting, exercising, calling the insurance company, changing my pump set, etc.---these are everyday occurrences/activities for me.

Then comes my four month endo appointment, and there's no forgetting. I stroll in, ready to face my truth. Well, sort of ready.

I hand the jovial receptionist my insurance card and co-pay. I sign forms, delight in polite conversation, and then settle into a floral-patterned chair and wait to hear my name. I'm called back to a hallway where I'm weighed. I usually hold my breath (though thinking about it, won't that add weight?). Then I'm escorted back to a patient room where my blood pressure, pulse, and blood sugar are checked, I'm asked questions about medications and symptoms, and then the door closes. And I breathe a moment, collect my thoughts, and wonder what's next. Good or bad, the truth is the truth.

The doctor strolls in, asks me some questions, comments on my new modeling career (haha---a promotional campaign for the local hospital where I'm the new face of diabetes), and then proceeds to read my labs. Gulp.

I've been really tired lately, and my first question was, is my iron or vitamin D level low? The answer to both was no. I do know some people with diabetes (and not) have a hard time with the summer heat. Additionally, I don't drink as much water as I should (I'm busy!---excuse, excuse). And I'm on summer break from teaching, so my days are rather relaxed and unstructured.

My second question, which is really my always-on-my-mind question, is about my a1c. Drum roll....

7.5

My doctor was pleased but said we could up my Symlin to help bring that number down.

I expressed my fear and hate of hypoglycemia. My doc was very supportive, explaining how hypoglycemia has many health risks, just like hyperglycemia.

I remarked that I hear of diabetics with 6 point something a1c numbers, and how it's frustrating for me. He reminded me that type I is much harder to control than type 2. I'm understanding that a lower a1c isn't always better. Sigh of relief.

I'm pleased that I've done so well with my disease, but I have this constant sense of my need to improve.

So it continues...

Love Sugar? Check Out These Books!

Ok, so it's a little sick, but those of us with diabetes, especially the ladies, know how alluring, how tempting, how captivating sugar is: a semi-forbidden pleasure that's devoured by seemingly every other single person besides us. I'm talking about the beautiful display cases full of frosted cakes, moist cookies, and specialty breads. I'm talking about ice cream shops, candy displays, and even commercials for sinfully carb-laden desserts. Sugar is everywhere. It's our enemy and our love.

Recently I checked out two books from my local library that focus on sugar:

I just finished reading Elizabeth Abbott's book Sugar: A Bittersweet History. The book jacket claims that Abbott's book is "richly detailed, impeccably researched and thoroughly compelling." True, true, and true. Abbott talks about how the sugar industry only succeeded because of slave labor, and she carries readers through to today and discusses diabetes. I read this book in about five evenings; I just couldn't put it down!

A book that's fun to pick up and skim when you need some humor is Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong by Jen Yates. If you just can't wait for the book, check out the Cake Wrecks website.

New Pump!

I got my new pump a few weeks ago, and it took my body about two weeks to adjust. Seriously. It was like my body knew there was a new sheriff in town, and it was going to take its sweet time getting acquainted.

Medtronic offered me a variety of pump color options (including hot pink! or a personalized "skin"). I said, "I have a one-and-a-half-year-old. She doesn't need to be tempted by a cool looking toy." I've had to consistently remind my daughter that the pump is "mommy's medicine" and it's a "no touch" item. (She thinks it's cool that I have all this gear---like a meter, and syringes, and a pump. To be so fascinated!)

So I went with boring old clear (a change from my black pump). It arrived with lots of manuals and packaging. I did what my first pump trainer did and tossed all the stuff aside to get to my new pancreas. I had it up and running in less than thirty minutes.

It's exciting to get a new pump. But it was also a sad moment for me. Just the other night I told my husband, while nearly in tears (and I very very rarely cry about diabetes anymore---because what is the point, really?), "I just imagined what it would be like to not wear an insulin pump all the time. I could be just like everyone else. I could be free."

I'm very grateful for my good health. I mean, all things considered, I'm doing well. And I cannot imagine having diabetes twenty, thirty, or longer years ago. Diabetics used to have to boil needles and use their urine to measure their blood sugar. So yeah, the technology I wear is pretty awesome. (I have new sensors for my CGM coming tomorrow).

Yet nothing is as good as being free of diabetes. Nothing. No fancy pump with a cool "skin," no "painless" needles, no "new flavor" glucose tablets, no "pretty" medical bracelets. I have an insulin pump attached to me almost 24/7. I have to carry gobs of supplies. I have to be in control, all the time, of my body. Which is like, um yeah, impossible.

I love some things diabetes has done for me. Without it I wouldn't have my daughter, I wouldn't have my volunteering job (working with diabetes patients at a hospital), my writing career, and many other things. But don't let my positive attitude or my dedication fool you.

I want to be free.